


Discovering what Lies Within

by Electric_Harmony



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Rating: T, autistic headcanon, autistic marianne
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23217508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electric_Harmony/pseuds/Electric_Harmony
Summary: Marianne Von Edmund had always felt like she was alone in the world. However, with the help of a couple friends, she discovers her true self and learns to embrace it.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Discovering what Lies Within

**Author's Note:**

> I've been planning on this particular fic alongside others for a while now, as this headcanon is important to me. I hope you can enjoy the work me and my proofreader (bopdawoo) put into this!

The dining hall bustled with students chattering about their daily lives, their nightly plans and their friendships. Notably the place was divided house to house, with the Black Eagles close to the door on the left and the Blue Lions closer to the right. The Golden Deer were pushed to the back tables by the two more powerful houses, but they had the most colorful conversations of all. Often the back will bubble over with laughter, and the group was very tight knit. However, there was one exception, and that was Marianne.

Marianne situated herself in her own spot: the dark, quiet corner table where nobody else wished to eat. Often a draft would waft in from the crack in the wall and when it rained, leaks from the roof were soon to follow. However, through it all Marianne didn’t seem to mind it, at least not as much as dining alongside the rest of the Golden Deer. The other house members didn’t really insist she should sit with them as she made it clear it was a personal choice. Yet on this clear and temperate evening she would be approached by a housemate.

“Hey Marianne!” Hilda chimed, startling Marianne from her seeming trance. “You need help cleaning your room?”

“Oh! Um, hi Hilda…yeah, sure…” Marianne uttered, her eyes flitting away and gazing at the puddle on the floor.

“All right! Does tomorrow morning sound okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine..” 

“Great! I’ll wait for you after breakfast!”

Hilda trotted back to the Golden Deer table, and Marianne arose as the bell rang for her to start embarking to her dorm. As was her usual routine, she ambled back to her dorm for the night and inked her quill. She proceeded to scribble down her thoughts from that day onto the parchment with her loopy, clumsy handwriting. Once Marianne completed her poetry, she blew out the candle for the night.

As planned, Hilda tagged along with Marianne and the two young women sauntered off to their destination. During their stroll, Hilda attempted at initiating a conversation with her friend, and she knows just how to do that.

“How’s your friend Dorte?” she initiated.

“Um, he’s doing fine at the moment...Ferdinand gave him a nice big apple when I was gone and he really appreciated that...he’s getting a lot better at jumping and our friendship is always getting stronger and stronger..”

Hilda listened eagerly to her friend’s stories with her trusty stallion. Marianne always had something new and fresh to say about the horse, and any passerby could feel all the emotions in her voice as she talked about him. To Hilda, seeing the sparkle in Marianne’s eyes was an adorable treat, and her voice was like a song. She blushed a bit thinking about it.

“Well, we’re here…” Marianne fumbled with her uniform to find the key to her room and let Hilda enter first. Hilda was not prepared to see so many scraps of parchment sprawled out on the floor. Every single piece of parchment was written all over, front and back, in loopy and clumsy handwriting. 

“I, um, took up writing as a hobby…” Marianne mumbled, face pink with embarrassment.

“Oooh, cool! It’s great that you took up a hobby! You know, I’d love to read these if you’re all right with it,” Hilda beamed.

“Oh, um, of course...just put them in the pile once you’re done…”

“Well, we gotta clean up this mess first!”

Marianne pitched in all the effort she could to clean up her room, but her clumsiness got in the way of everything. She would constantly fumble, causing parchment to flutter out of her hands. However, with Hilda’s help the place was spotless after a couple hours. Marianne earnestly thanked her for her help, and soon the two were reading poetry together. Hilda couldn’t help but be mesmerized by it. 

Marianne’s poetry discussed her experiences in daily life. One poem discussed how excited she would be to talk to Dorte for the day. Another mentioned how it felt like she was the only one who recognized the true beauty of nature. Then...there was one about an incident she had with Lysithea, and how she felt everything she did was wrong...

.Hilda remembers the day that incident happened. Marianne lay on her floor crying for hours, sometimes even tugging at her own hair and rather violently scratching at her legs to the point where they had to be bandaged. To this day, there are still light scars from it all.

“Marianne, are you feeling better after all that..? My memories from that day are still vivid…”

“Oh, um, yes. I’ve been better. It’s just..everything at that moment really made me go mad..like the beast I am…”

“Don’t talk like that! You’re not a beast and you’re not cursed. Letting those thoughts get to you will only make you feel worse!”

“But it’s so likely that I am...and the way I act just reflects the beast I am.”

“Marianne…”

Their conversation comes to a moment’s standstill. Sometimes, Hilda just can’t understand her friend, no matter how much she loves and supports her. She doesn’t want Marianne to feel alone through it, but at the same time she doesn’t think she can really help. Eventually, the standstill was broken.

“I...um..was considering talking to Dimitri about this...I’m sure he would understand. He understands me so well…” Marianne mumbled, gently combing her bangs out of her eyes.

“Well, if Dimitri understands you, I’d say you should go for it! It’ll feel good to vent to him,” Hilda nodded. “I really hope you learn more about yourself, Marianne...I want you to see yourself the way your friends do.”


End file.
